You read the strange leaflet...

Watch this space.

Correspondent: Pastaroni


I was drinking the night I interviewed KolMohDee about his upcoming 2nd annual Cynco de Mayo celebration, so I lost all the interview notes, but as it's a night for partying, I'll just wing it.

Fewer hearts are more worshipped in /radio than Florida RadioKOL DJ KolMohDee. Click on his profile on a good day and you'll see his very own custom item, the Radio KoL DJ Mug, awarded for his outstanding service to the KoL community and (if you can believe it) America at large by staying awake and on-the-air for 24 hours to raise money for Hurricane Katrina relief; a venture that netted those affected by the tragedy a whopping $26,795.08!

We at the Strange Leaflet are incredibly proud of KoLers like KolMohDee, and each any every player who donated their hard-earned cash for the cause. After such a tough year it's obviously time to unwind, so doff your favorite sombrero, take off your pants and raise a margarita in celebration of the Kingdom of Loathing's unofficial favorite holiday of the year: Cynco de Mayo! Aye dios mio!

Last year KolMohDee gave away a fine selection of lime-based alcohol, and this year he's outdone himself.

( Click Here for the Stash )

That's all going to one lucky player, folks. And it'll be even more if you pick through your inventories and send KolMohDee, the DJ with a pimp hand of gold, whatever you can spare.

Listen to RadioKoL on Friday, May 5, between the hours of 10am and 1pm EST, for your chance to win.

Department: Front Page


After faring horribly against the NS in a battle of words on Radio KoL Saturday, Merik claimed that he would battle the sorceress in a penguin suit to humiliate her for calling him a bad DJ. Naughty Sorceress seemed mildly unimpressed though.

Prima Vera Angelhair, a collegue of Merik and the moderator for the "discussion" (which really was a two hour run of boasting and name calling), suggested that there may be sexual tension between the two, as most of the discussion topics were of the opponents genitalia. During the show, PVA pointed out that he thought a battle with the NS would turn in Merik's favor, even with the penguin suit.

That same day, KWE was televised for the first time ever. During the event, owner Mac Mahon weighed in on the situation.

"Now, the sorceress is a gem of a lady, and to hear her treated like that? Well, I just had to do something about it."

And do something, he did. Mac Mahon demanded that the radio DJ not only fight the most evil woman in the kingdom naked, but also that he retire his familiar for the bout. To make matters worse, Merik is a lover not a fighter, and thusly has no combat related skills. Merik was quoted as saying, "I'll have to use my sexynes. And my poor spelling skills."

The people on the street are showing favor in the Naughty Sorceress. Bets are being made (more on the NS than Merik) and Saturday is still just a few days away. Neither the NS nor the DJ could be reached. An admin level member of Teh Club said that he was out getting ready.

The fight is scheduled for Saturday, Martinus 7th, at 2pm. It will be shown live on KNN, and Prima Vera Angelhair will be announcing via Radio KoL.

Department: Front Page


You late-night radio affictionados already know about Radio KoL DJ Merik's deep rooted hatred for the Naughty Sorceress, but at LarzdaPunk's DJ inaugeration she went on record as saying that Merik's a poor fighter and an even worse DJ! Our microphones were there. Hear it in this exclusive audio clip!

In retaliation, Merik lashed out, asking adventurers to send in their best insults for the NS and demanding she come on his show. We here at the Strange Leaflet recieved the following press release today:

Little Merik. I heard from a few of my minions that you demanded my presence this Saturday, April 8th. I've killed better men than you for far less, but you amuse me. You said that you beat me naked, which is simply hilarious. Either you lie, or... there wasn't much to remember. But you are in luck. Maybe someone will listen to your pisspot of a show when I come on. I will see you this Saturday, and I will remind you why I am the most feared in the kingdom.

So there you have it, keep checking in for more on this incredible story!

The editorial board is proud to announce a new, permanent addition to the bullpen here at The Strange Leaflet: CaitiffsEros (#481465). He made a fine showing for himself in interviewing Cynn; an interview both entertaining and informative. We simply couldn't help but offer him a full time staff position.

The Leaf depends upon your kind support to stay alive. We are always looking for great writers to get out there and find the stories our readers are interested in. We can be choosy, yes, but we simply demand the best for the Kingdom! But please, do not let that stop you from submitting your stories. You may be just what we are looking for.

Additionally, we are always looking for other, non-writing creative projects to showcase. Are you a fine artist? Submit your pin-ups! Quality art is always welcome at the Leaflet. In fact, our own staff illustrator, Automatic Jack, has given her kind permission to allow us to syndicate her fantastic comic, Legend. A glorious treat for the senses!

And we must shamelessly say, if you cannot support us with your creativity, please do dip into your wallets and toss os the odd scrap of meat. Meat equals motivation in our world. Horray for simulated Capitalism!

We've got many interesting things in store for the coming weeks and months. Oodles of interesting things have happened, or are going to happen, or are going to have happened...happened...um...yes, well...in any case, we thank you again for your patronage!

- Lord Harvey Wallbanger
Editor-in-Chief

Department 11


1. How did you first discover Kingdom of Loathing?
Actually, I found the Kingdom in a link from someone's signature on SlashDot (http://slashdot.org), back in June of 2005. ( Read more... )

2. What is your signature character class?
Definitely a female Disco Bandit (I always play female characters).  ( Read more... )

3. What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
Getting the complete Radio Free Regalia was pretty nice, especially since I actually won it (The sword from ArtsyChick on the Big Meat Show [when it was on RKOL], and pants from Meranna—I think I got the hat from someone on WKOL). Being able to assist with the birth of WKOL radio was pretty big, too.


4. What, if anything, has blown up in your face?
Definitely when I made the mistake of buying pirate shirts, thinking they were some rare item, right when they first came out. ( Read more... )

5. What has been your most ambitious project to date?
Definitely trying to finish my terrarium. ( Read more... )

6. What aspect of KoL has persistently thwarted you at every turn?
Being new in the Kingdom has made it hard to get to some of the older familiars. ( Read more... )

7. What is the one thing you would change about KoL if you could?
Honestly, not much. Sure, I'd like the older familiars to be available again, but then what would I work towards? ( Read more... )

8. What is your favorite joke or reference in KoL?
Definitely the Probability Giant. ( Read more... )

9. What brings you back to KoL night after night?
The hunt for the familiars is the lasting draw. ( Read more... )

10. How long do you think you will keep playing?
Honestly, I don't know that I'll be daily active in two years, but I like to think that I'd be on at least twice a week. ( Read more... )

11. You get to have a Jick-made custom item. What is it?
Hired Penguin: Familiar ( Read more... )

Quality Fan Fic Department


In the Lair of the Naughty Sorceress, a Journal of my Travels

9:00am
Final preparations begin for entry into the Sorceress' Lair. The Council have instructed me to reach the tower and confront the Sorceress at all costs.

I am currently packing everything I shall require for the quest. Of course, I always take way more than I need, but sometimes you just don't know when you're going to need a wad of dough and a lump of bat guano.

10:42am
Bitchin' meatcar stalls outside of Degrassi Knoll. Upon inspection, tank is empty. Pour everything left in wallet into tank and continue journey. Damn car thinks I'm made of meat.

Continue on at leisurely pace, only stopped intermittently by bugbears trying to wash my windscreen.

11:22am
Having made my way through the outer gates of the lair using the most tortuous methods (I felt like a diabetic kid stumbling into a Bauhaus concert), I found myself in a passage ending in front of a gigantic mirror, much like those favoured by Disco Bandits who will place them liberally throughout their bedrooms. Modesty will not allow me to reveal how I discovered the hidden panel beyond, but I have taken with me a rather nice shard to trick out the bitchin' meatcar when I get back home.

11:35am
I find myself recovering from a very disappointing experience involving stone statues, pungent gases, and a rather aggressive skeleton. If it wasn't for the ridiculously deep pockets that the tailors of the Kingdom insist on providing in every piece of clothing I would have been forced to head back home to raid the closet a dozen times or more.

12:50am
Who in their right mind plants a hedge maze directly in front of their door? And then leaves the key lying around in the open. And all that privet... I thought I was allergic to it, but having it leap out of nowhere and try to scratch your face off is a whole new level of sinus pain.

Pretty nifty little puzzles though. Might take one home for the leprechaun.

1:37pm
I am beginning to find this whole situation unbearable. In the last hour I have been accosted by a giant thumb, a beer pitcher that insisted it was a batter, an extremely aggressive globe (I thought the world was flat), a rather disturbingly attractive fly, and a gigantic ice cube!

The more I see of this place, the more I begin to consider that calling her the Naughty Sorceress is probably not as technically correct as the Stark Raving Mental Sorceress.

1:56pm
Now I know why so many people come back from this Lair looking so beaten and exhausted - six flights of stone steps!

2:24pm
Sat in on a game of poker, won 500 meat, got electrocuted by a door with clearly faulty wiring, and almost had my leg bitten off by one of the poker players who was a bit foamy around the mouth.

But I cannot turn back. The Council needs me. The Kingdom needs me. You know, I have no idea why we're a Kingdom at all, after all I've never seen a King. Maybe he retired, or went on holidays and forgot to come back. Maybe he was kidnapped and imprisoned in a giant crystal... No, far too daft an idea.

2:38pm
So much for decking out the meatcar, I was admiring my new piece of panelling when out of nowhere there was a giant flash and the whole bloody thing vaporised! Then some bugger dressed all in black came out of nowhere and said he was going to do me over, it gave me such a fright I had to pop one of my heart pills. Once I'd caught my breath he'd gone. Odd.

To top it all off, I've almost been killed by chunks of falling masonry. This tower is falling apart around me.

I'd consider this a serious OH&S issue if it wasn't for the fact that just about everything else in here has tried to kill me, so why not the damn roof?

3:16pm
Whatever happened to owning a dog? The last time I checked, potatos and barrrnacles weren't winning "Best of Breed" at the county fair. Or being used for guard duty.

3:38pm
Finally, the door that leads to throne room of the lair of the Naughty Sorceress. My long and arduous quest has almost ended. I put boot to wood and the heavy oak crashes back on its hinges.

Battered, weary, and singed around the edges, I finally came face to face with the Naughty Sorceress in her lair. Black throne, black walls, black (sexy) outfit. Must be a bitch to keep cool in the summer.

Absently juggling two tiny paisley fireballs, she cast me a withering glance and slowly smoothed out a crinkle in her immaculate black dress.

I drew from my back pocket a scroll and read it as I faced the beautiful yet deadly enchantress.

"Ms Sorceress?"
"Yes."
"Ms Naughty Sorceress?"
"Yes."
"Of the Lair of the Naughty Sorceress, Loathing?"
"Yes, that's me. What do you want?"
"I've come to read your gas meter."

Correspondent: CaitiffsEros (#481465)


When not beautifying the forums with her artwork, Cynn can be found patrolling the Ring of Flame with an iron fist and her trusty big stick. It
is here that many thick-skinned players come to, well, flame the heck out of each other while slinging the type of defamatory, slanderous muck
that simply can’t be allowed in any other forum.

Cynn initially garnered the position of mod through a string of events that “make a pretty uninteresting story.” Foremost among them was a suggestion
from The Bub, who thought Cynn would make a good mediator in the incendiary forum.



( Continue the long awaited Part 2 of our interview with Cynn! )

Department 11

1. How did you first discover Kingdom of Loathing ?
KoL was something that just didn't interest me at the beginning. ( Read more... )

2. What is your signature character class?
Wow, I have actually never thought about this question before. However, without a doubt, I would have to say that ( Read more... )

3. What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
The establishment of Otori. ( Read more... )

4. What, if anything, has blown up in your face?
Administrative decisions regarding Otori that led to some nasty incidents. I was learning, and I guess I still am.


5. What has been your most ambitious project to date?
I don't know… Once again, I love Otori and my collections. ( Read more... )

6. What aspect of KoL has persistently thwarted you at every turn?
I think it's all about wealth for this answer. ( Read more... )

7. What is the one thing you would change about KoL if you could?
Right now, as I don't actually have any influence on changes, I wouldn't change anything. ( Read more... )

8. What is your favorite joke or reference in KoL?
It's a shame that I miss a lot of the pop culture references due to being an Aussie, but even then, ( Read more... )

9. What brings you back to KoL night after night?
Otori. ( Read more... )

10. How long do you think you will keep playing?
I've drifted out of the limelight quite a bit already. ( Read more... )

11. You get to have a Jick-made custom item. What is it?
E-penis +++, and that's something I have never said before. :D ( Read more... )

Correspondent: CaitiffsEros (#481465)


Given her current position as a Ring of Flame mod, it’s somehow no surprise that Cynn (#169594) initially discovered KoL after skimming other gaming forums. Since her arrival in the Kingdom, she has gained a reputation as one of the game’s most popular artists and the wielder of the most softspoken, biggest stick in the forums.

Cynn is no noob in the world of internet and computer gaming, but it was KoL’s atypical amalgam of pop culture references, musical allusions, and humorous spoofs of archetypal RPG elements like character classes that proved immediately alluring.



( Continue reading our interview with Cynn... )

Department 11


1. How did you first discover Kingdom of Loathing?
A friend of mine with a 60k playerid or so invited me to the game in July of 2004. I looked at the page, shrugged, and bookmarked it. ( Read more... )

2. What is your signature character class?
Pastamancer, yo! Love that colander. ( Read more... )

3. What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
Besides being a RKOL DJ (I love DJing to bits)? ( Read more... )

4. What, if anything, has blown up in your face?
The Philanthropy Project didn't work as well as planned. ( Read more... )

5. What has been your most ambitious project to date?
My music collection. ( Read more... )

6. What aspect of KoL has persistently thwarted you at every turn?
Hardcore ascensions, bah! ( Read more... )

7. What is the one thing you would change about KoL if you could?
Scamming. I hate scammers. ( Read more... )

8. What is your favorite joke or reference in KoL?
You are attacked by one of the spookiest mummies you've ever seen. ( Read more... )

9. What brings you back to KoL night after night?
The people. My clan. Radio chat. I'm such a heart player, but an explorer too. ( Read more... )

10. How long do you think you will keep playing?
As long as they let me keep DJing. ( Read more... )

11. You get to have a Jick-made custom item. What is it?
A Tiny Clay Rutabega! After the clay character commissions I used to do.

Correspondent: Pastaroni


What the heck is a "Testudinata?"

( Read more... )

Department 11


1. How did you first discover Kingdom of Loathing?
My first encounter with the KoL was in May '04 via a forum I am active in. ( Read more... )

2. What is your signature character class?
Accordion Thief all the way. ( Read more... )

3. What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
My greatest accomplishment was ascending with the palindromic stats of 1111/1111/2222. ( Read more... )

4. What, if anything, has blown up in your face?
Finding a hypnodisk back in bugmeat days, selling it for 5 Mr. A's and then not selling those Mr. A's for 100mil meat each. ( Read more... )

5. What has been your most ambitious project to date?
My most ambitious project so far has been Testudinata. ( Read more... )

6. What aspect of KoL has persistently thwarted you at every turn?
The markets in some items have definitely annoyed me but my failure to anticipate the massive amount of deflation in the kingdom has really hurt me. ( Read more... )

7. What is the one thing you would change about KoL if you could?
I would completely revamp clans and especially clan warfare. ( Read more... )

8. What is your favorite joke or reference in KoL?
The whole of the Dungeon of Dungeons is highly amusing to me but just adventuring in any area and identifying a reference is always a great feeling.

9. What brings you back to KoL night after night?
My clan is what keeps me coming back. ( Read more... )

10. How long do you think you will keep playing?
I don't ever plan to stop playing. ( Read more... )

11. You get to have a Jick-made custom item. What is it?
I would like any item that was Nethack themed. ( Read more... )

Correspondent: datenshi


The following is the winning entry of the League of Etymology's 2005 The True Meaning of Crimbo Contest. Congratulations datenshi!


“We need,” Jick announced with the calm and slightly irritating assurance of a deity, “another holiday.”

Skully glanced over. The two of them were poised on opposite turrets of the castle in the sky. A goth giant, peering out of a ridiculously large window, saw them and shrieked, realizing that these were the beings which could delete it with the click of a button. It raced off to write emo poetry about how death, death was waiting for it, eating an ice cream cone.

Jick licked his ice cream in great satisfaction. “You agree, don’t you?”

“Whatever for?” the other man asked. He was more preoccupied with his own frozen treat, which was dripping all over the turret. As he watched, the last piece of chocolate sailed down a river of vanilla. “Damn.”

“What for?” Jick echoed, slightly inaccurately. He shook his head. “You disappoint me. Obviously, it’s for another day free from work or adventuring, depending on whether you work or adventure.” He gazed at his surroundings thoughtfully; there were quite a few giants staring at him, presumably to get inspiration for their own creative writing, but they ducked away as soon as he turned his dark eyes upon them. “What other real-worldly holidays have we not stolen yet?”

“National sock day,” was the prompt reply as the cone floated away, landing on the head of a passing apathetic lizardman, who ignored it.

A pause. “That has possibilities. But no. Next?”

“I don’t know…Valentine’s Day.”

“Too pink. Next?”

“For Jick’s sake, Jick, Christmas.”

Another pause, many times more tangible than the last. As the last was not tangible at all, however, neither was this. “Brilliance! I knew I could count on you. So do all the work, will you, while I go announce this affair?” And off went the Kingdom’s creator, humming what he thought was “The Twelve Days of Christmas” but was really Mendelssohn’s Concerto in E Minor.

( Read more... )

Correspondent: Pastaroni


In addition to his duties as head moderator, Werebear is also among the few and the proud who make up the KoL development team.
"I'm a programmer, but not in Perl or any other languages that would be useful in discovering holes that could be hacked." But Werebear had no trouble proving his worth. "I test new things as a player and try to break them. If you look into my mall store, you'll see what I discovered I could do before the mall code went in."

Being a developer also includes being an idea man, giving Jick and Mr. Skullhead tips on making the game even better. It's a job that takes a lot of trust and isn't an easy one to get.




( Continue reading Part II of our interview with Werebear! )

Department 11


1. How did you first discover Kingdom of Loathing?
Someone in a forum I used to go to linked it. ( Read more... )

2. What is your signature character class?
Shadow Pastamancer. ( Read more... )

3. What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
E-penis-wise, being the first ever Oxycore DB to ascend. ( Read more... )

4. What, if anything, has blown up in your face?
Getting lazy and hardly making animated avatars any more, just when I was starting to get good at it. ( Read more... )

5. What has been your most ambitious project to date?
KoLopoly, without a doubt. ( Read more... )

6. What aspect of KoL has persistently thwarted you at every turn?
I've never gotten anything so rare as a spooky hockey mask naturally, nor fought and lost any ultra-rare monsters. ( Read more... )

7. What is the one thing you would change about KoL, if you could?
Probably something silly like giving the SS and plexiglass outfits tattoos. ( Read more... )

8. What is your favorite joke or reference in KoL?
Gah, there are too many to choose from. ( Read more... )

9. What brings you back to KoL night after night?
Since I joined The Rye, back in the day, it’s probably been the chat. ( Read more... )

10. How long do you think you will keep playing?
No idea. I've been playing far too long already, in my opinion. ;) ( Read more... )

11. You get to have a Jick-made custom item. What is it?
The most awesomest pair of pants in the entire game—perhaps even the 1337357 7r0uZ0RZ. ( Read more... )

Correspondent: Pastaroni


By day he's your average, run-of-the-mill guy; a programmer for a local school district near Endwell, New York. "And by 'programmer' I mean 'glorified data monkey.' I used to write software; now I create reports for teachers and administrators, as well as for New York state." But by night, when the moon comes out, a change comes over this mild-mannered pdata monkey. "I need my fix, man! I need my fix!" *twitches*

Werebear tore into the Kingdom of Loathing in March of 2004 and hasn't looked back since.  "I spent five years on a MUD called Afterlife, where nothing ever happened. It's nice to be on a game where the admins care so much about the players, and constantly try to make great content for them."




( Continue reading our interview with Werebear... )

Department 11


1. How did you first discover the Kingdom of Loathing?
I used to belong to the University of Cape Town Roleplaying Society. ( Read more... )

2. What is your signature character class?
I started life off as a Seal Clubber, as I always play a fighter/muscle class character whenever I start a new system, whether it’s a pen and paper RPG or a computer one. ( Read more... )

3. What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
Without doubt, being on the ascension testing team, and then the development team. ( Read more... )

4. What, if anything, has blown up in your face?
I've had a few things almost go wrong, and some that have gone horribly pear-shaped. ( Read more... )

5. What has been your most ambitious project to date?
One day, after I had spent the previous night awake the whole night, I wrote up a proposal for a "professional PvP ascension path" (this was before I was even in the Loading Dock clan). ( Read more... )

6. What aspect of KoL has persistently thwarted you at every turn?
The six-day Hardcore Teetotaler ascension. ( Read more... )

7. What is the one thing you would change about KoL if you could?
ONE thing? ( Read more... )

8. What is your favorite joke or reference in KoL?
I was one of the first people to see some of Skully's best work in Valhalla. ( Read more... )

9. What brings you back to KoL night after night?
Because one day the RNG will love me. ( Read more... )

10. How long do you think you will keep playing the game?
Well, I've already quit once... ( Read more... )

11. You get to have a Jick-made custom item. What is it?
Actually, I don’t want a custom item of my own. ( Read more... )